I’m no good. Nobody will ever love me. I’m just a paper pusher. I always eat too much. These are all limiting beliefs, also known as negative self talk. They are unpleasant or negative statements that people believe about themselves. And, they limit you. They stop you from moving forward in your career and with your relationships. After all, people who believe that no one will ever love them will settle for relationships with unhealthy people instead of seeking out healthy ones. Limiting beliefs affect your life and cause you to settle for less than what you deserve. If you find yourself struggling with limiting beliefs, here are some steps that will help you to overcome them.
The first step to overcoming limiting beliefs is to identify them. Start to monitor what you say to yourself. Recognize your limiting beliefs when you think them. Identify which of your thoughts are limiting beliefs and start paying attention to different ways that they affect your actions. For example, if you are constantly telling yourself, “I always eat too much,” then chances are that you tend to overeat and that this is affecting your self esteem. Identifying this limiting belief enables you to see that it affects your actions.
Once you have identified your limiting beliefs, you need to examine their sources. For example, a person who believes that she always eats too much may have heard this often as a child. Figuring out where the limiting beliefs originate can help you to realize that they are not necessarily true. Remind yourself that your limiting beliefs are lies, and that you do not have to be bound to them. This reduces the amount of power that they have over you and can enable you to break free from their influence.
Lastly, try to consciously replace them with positive self-talk. For example, if your limiting belief is that you always eat too much, replace it with a positive statement. This may be, “I can control my eating,” which of course should be said as you are eating something healthy or turning down seconds of dessert. Consistently replacing your limiting beliefs with positive self talk enables you to focus on positive statements instead of negatives. Doing this consistently whenever you find yourself repeating a limiting belief will enable you to move past it and to replace it with positive statements about yourself.
While all of these steps can help you to overcome limiting beliefs, sometimes they work best with the help of another person. Many people seek out a trusted friend for this role. However, if you find that your struggles with limiting beliefs negatively affect your life in significant ways then you may benefit from professional therapy. There is nothing shameful or embarrassing about spending some time seeing a professional therapist. A well trained counselor can help you learn to examine your limiting beliefs and replace them with positive statements about yourself. For many people working with a trained counselor is the key to learning to use positive statements about themselves.
